So Long, and Thanks for All the Paper!

August 29, 2009 | Filed Under America | Comments Off

paper-mill

I don’t condone everything the “green planet people” promote. For instance, I’m against placing the life of a plant or animal above that of a created-in-God’s-image human being, which happens with some radical environmental groups. However, I do love trees. We live in the woods, and our trees are special to us. I’m not sure how many trees we have on our land, but I figure at least a couple of hundred. We don’t clear-cut our property to sell timber. We try not to waste paper. We help promote the local community’s recycling program by donating server space and bandwidth for their website. Little things, but hopefully helpful.

What concerns me lately, however, is the amount of paper-pushing going on in our government. It seems like more and more huge bills are being plowed through Congress in a short period of time. Congressmen have admitted to not reading everything they vote on. How can they? I read a couple of books a month, but I doubt I could keep up with the reams of pages piled on their desks each day.

I began to wonder — just how many trees does our tree-hugging government kill each day? I have no idea. I did do a bit of math, though, which I found disturbing, to determine just how many trees gave their lives for the three biggest bills in recent history — the 1201-page Cap & Trade Bill, which incidentally, is about punishing those who don’t comply with government mandated “green” laws; the well-publicized multi-trillion, 1016-page government-run healthcare bill; and the porkulific 1073-page “economic stimulus” package.

I have no idea how many copies of each bill were produced, but, limiting it to just our Congressmen (100 in Senate, 435 in the House) and not counting any aides or other assistants (or even the first-, second-, and so-forth drafts), the Stimulus Bill would eat up 574055 pages of paper, the Healthcare Bill 543560, and the Cap & Trade Bill a whopping 642535 sheets.

According to conservatree.org, the “average” paper-production tree yields 8,333 sheets of paper. So, if just the members of Congress were the only ones to receive copies (and I’m thinking there were likely many more sets distributed), TWO HUNDRED and ELEVEN tress died to provide the pages to print just THREE bills — and remember, this example only used the FINAL draft — well, let’s say “current” draft, as the Healthcare committee is still meeting behind closed doors to work out a “deal.” There’s no telling how many actual pieces of paper were actually used. (And we won’t even go into the polution produced during the production of paper.)

So it looks like I don’t have to clear-cut my land — it’s already been done for me by a government that doesn’t understand most Americans would rather take care of themselves, thank you very much.

How many more bills have been photo-copied lately? How many more will be in the future? Why are these people telling us what kind of lightbulbs to use, what kind of car to drive, and what kind of doctor to choose if they can’t even abide by their own mandates? This post isn’t about partisanism or politics — it’s about waste not, want not.

And America, we’re about to become a nation of want.

Article written by Linda Fulkerson

On Becoming a Writer

August 21, 2009 | Filed Under Writing | Comments Off

Fulkerson

Some friends of mine and I started a new group blog titled Inkspirational Messages. This week we’re taking turns introducing ourselves and telling a bit about how we got started in writing. Since I’ve never really done that here, I thought I’d re-post what I shared over there. I’d love to hear comments (at either site) about how you started as a writer and where you are now in your journey.

Funny thing, being a writer. Like the Reading Rainbow show I watched when my kids were younger — you can go anywhere, do anything, become anyone. The funniest thing about me being a writer is that I stumbled upon it quite by accident. I saw a book at a yard sale titled, 25 Careers Women Can Do From Home, or some such thing. I flipped through its yellowed and torn pages, stopping at the chapter on writing. I went to the library, picked up a few books on learning to write, and that evening told my husband I’d decided to become a writer and I figured that within two years, we could both quit our jobs. I was serious.

That was about 15 years ago. We’re both still working, and I’m still learning the craft. I sometimes think I probably could have transitioned to full-time writing by now had I just settled on one type, but to me the writing world is like a roving dessert cart. How can I possibly pick just one? (Lorna’s suggestion that we share what “type” of writing we do made me smile.)

My first foray into the field stemmed from my days as a newspaper typesetter. I almost instantly got promoted to copy-editor (I blame my grammar-nazi father for that), and within weeks began submitting my own copy to the editor. The next thing I knew, I held the title “Sports Writer.” To date, sports writing has been some of the most fun I’ve had in my wordsmithing work.

Magazine articles came next. I still write for a few statewide periodicals but have actually attained a few national bylines. One of my biggest thrills in my hope of becoming the next Marjorie Holmes was the day I received a rejection letter from Woman’s Day on original letterhead, signed in ink — my first non-form-letter rejection. I danced around the room waving the letter around.

Somewhere shortly after that I had a heart-to-heart talk with my mother, which resulted in my first book, The Prodigal Daughter. The book begat a speaking career, and I still speak to groups from time to time either about reconciling relationships or various writing topics.

During the book-writing process, a friend of mine introduced me to what was then called American Christian Romance Writers, an off-shoot of American Christian Writers. The group has evolved into American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW), and now has nearly 2000 members. I may hold the record as the longest standing member who is not yet published in fiction. It’s that lack of focus thing again, although I have completed a novel (an inspirational historical romance) and am currently working up a proposal to pitch it.

linda and dave barry_2My true writing love, though, is humor. If the writing fairy stopped by my house right now and waved her wand, I’d wish to be transformed into a columnist. The next Erma Bombeck or maybe Dave Barry but with less sarcasm. (I’ve actually had my picture taken with him as well as with Erma’s daughter — that should count for something!)

My humor columns are nearly as diverse as the rest of my writing career has been, and include topics such as Overweight & Underorganized, Navigationally Challenged, To Insanity and Beyond, and Think Outside the Beltway (political commentary). Betsy_Bombeck_and_Linda

It would be a dream come true to have a collection of columns published some day. That nearly happened last year, but sadly, when the economy tanked, so did my would-be agent’s hopes of selling the project, which merited me yet another very nice rejection letter. Such is the life of a writer.

Although it makes my husband crazy, today I no longer worry whether or not my words will be published, which may be why many of them aren’t. I just write what I’m thinking at the time and post much of it on my blog. I hope you’ll stop by there sometime and say “hey!”

Article written by Linda Fulkerson

Oh, My!

August 20, 2009 | Filed Under America | 1 Comment

airplane

Note: I received the following in a forwarded email. I’m not sure if this is all true, but if even a tenth of it is, it’s amazing. The writer names all names except her own, but after reading it, I can’t blame her. – LF

A DC airport ticketing agent offers some examples of ‘why’ our country is in trouble!

1.  I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2.  I got a call from a Kansas Congressman’s (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ”I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .”

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ”Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ”.

His response — click.

3.  A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that’s not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, “don’t lie to me, I looked on the map and  Florida is a very thin state!”

4. I got a call from a lawmaker’s wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ”Is it possible to see  England from Canada ?”

I said, ”No.”

She said, ”But they look so close on the map.”

5.  An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ”I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.” (Arghhhh)

6.  An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to  Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that  Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler), called and asked, ”Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?” I said, ‘No, why do you ask?’

he replied, ”Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT) and I’m overweight. I think that’s very rude!”

After putting him on hold for a minute, I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Calif., is (FAT – Fresno Air Terminal) and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to  Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ”Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?”

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala. , who asked, ”How do I know which plane to get on?”

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ”I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.”

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ”I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?”

I asked if she meant fly to  Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ”Yeah, whatever, smarty!”

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to  China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. ‘Oh, no I don’t. I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ”Look, I’ve been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!”

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ”I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .”

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ”Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”

‘Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ”I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a rhino anywhere.”

”The man retorted, ”Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!”

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ”You don’t mean Buffalo , do you?”

The reply? ”Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.”

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it’s in! Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED. AND, (ATTEMPT TO), GOVERN.

I don’t write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

Article written by Linda Fulkerson

Lower Taxes. Less Government. More Freedom.

August 18, 2009 | Filed Under America | Comments Off

pelosi

That is the battle cry of FreedomWorks.org, an organization led by former U.S. House Majority Leader Dick Armey. FreedomWorks is fighting for more economic freedom for the American public and is dedicated to keeping Americans informed, engaged, and mobilized to act in defense of their personal freedoms.

In addition to maintaining a state-by-state database of where citizens can meet their elected servants during the August recess, FreedomWorks also

In less than five minutes you can sign up to receive email updates from FreedomWorks to stay informed and learn how you can help lower taxes, lessen government, and increase freedom.

Article written by Linda Fulkerson

The Professor

August 14, 2009 | Filed Under America | Comments Off

professorToday’s post is from an email I received. Unfortunately, I don’t know who wrote it, who the professor is, or even if it’s true. However, the principle taught in this story is true, which we have seen in the countries that have embraced socialism. I hope as you read this, you will focus on the message instead of trying to figure out whether or not it’s just some email hoax. — Linda

***

An economics professor at a local college made a  statement that he had never failed a single student  before, but had once failed an entire  class. That  class had insisted that Obama’s socialism worked and that no one  would be poor and no one would be rich, a great  equalizer.

The professor then said, “OK, we will  have an experiment in this class on Obama’s  plan”.

All grades would be averaged and everyone  would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one  would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades  were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied  hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students  who studied little had studied even less and the ones who  studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied  little.  The second test average was a D! No one was  happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average  was an F.

The scores never increased as  bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard  feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the  professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail  because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great  but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try  or want to succeed.

As the late Adrian Rogers  said, “you cannot multiply wealth by dividing  it..”

Article written by Linda Fulkerson

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